Is the way you lead yours or someone else’s?
Lost in sea of leadership models
Leadership models are all over the place and while they can be useful, it’s also easy to get lost. Not to mention that the way we lead is the conjonction of multiple factors ranging from those models to our life experiences.
Most of the companies do have a leadership model and I have (co)-designed them myself more than once. The challenge is always about how you offer a frame and provide freedom so people can express what make them unique (Note that you don't need to lead a team to be a leader….)
What’s your own leadership model?
But very often, when having leadership conversations, I noticed that the level of awareness of one’s own leadership model is not as clear as it seems.
It’s actually quite difficult to express clearly what your own leadership model is.
So the question is what: is my level of understanding of the forces and beliefs that shape my practice as a leader?
Am I a leader in the Matrix, not conscious about those forces? Am I just accepting what is being labelled as good leadership?
What leading means to me is an ongoing learning process. One that forces me to rethink what kind of person and leader I want to be. I have chosen this uncomfortable path years ago. The analogy of the red and the blue pill from the Matrix is useful here.
Dig deeper to uncover your leadership beliefs and truths
So on a regular base, I take a step back, reflect on my practice as a leader. And it’s something worth revisiting as our experiences impact our beliefs and practice. For me, I had to become intentional about digging deeper into my practice.
What does leading mean to me? Seems banal but it’s fundamental. Can I articulate what leading means concretely to me? What are my leadership attributes?
Where does this leadership belief come from? If I can articulate what leading means to me, it must come from somewhere, right? What is my leadership model, not one from a book but my own - for sure also influenced by others and « models »? What experiences have shaped this belief and practice?
How are those beliefs shaping my view of human beings, teams and organisations? For instance, do I fundamentally belief that people are trustworthy? And if so, how does it translate into my relationships? Do I feel I need to lead teams to be a leader or is leading something different? And so on…
How do I know that the above is true or at least that the gap isn’t too wide between what I believe I do and what I actually do? What do I say, hear (or don’t)? What are others saying, doing (or not)? What emotions are surfacing?
2 more points: biases and high stakes
Two important points here I keep in mind with the above: I stay aware of some biases that can kick in when doing this reflection such as confirmation bias. Secondly it’s easy to picture myself in the every day situation but I try to remember high-stake situations as those are the moments when my triggers are activated.
Books and more - useful?
A quick note - books on leadership can be a great source but also have the potential to become a thought prisons. Dogmatism is the enemy of self-reflection and growth. So I use them because they are great to drive self-reflection and conversations with others. As tempting as they can be, I try not to be dogmatic about them.
Try this
Take an A3 sheet (or whatever works for you) and separate in 4 quadrants - one for each of the 4 points above and start writing/drawing about them. As you do, do not stop at the first answer, dig deeper and see what comes out.
Once you feel round 1 is done, share it with somebody you trust - somebody that knows you well enough to not only confirm your assumptions but maybe also challenge them.
What surprised you? What has been helfpul and what might be holding you back to growth further? If anything, what is the one thing you would like to change in your practice?
There is no rule about time or timing, just do it in one go or spread over several days. Whatever works for you. Secondly, it’s for you and so need no need to get caught up in the race for perfection. You can always change it later.
Do it and then do it again and again and again over time
The above seems easy but I know for a fact that the first answers generated by those questions are often not the final ones. For this reflection to be meaningful, time in form of multiple iterations is required. But the most important is to start and give it a try. Then revisit, use meaningful conversations, journaling, reading, or whatever helps you to advance your understanding of what leading means to you.
